11:30am
I’ve just been to the first scan. The nurse was very nice, and I could watch everything she was doing on a big TV. She was counting the number of follicles and found 13, which apparently is a normal number. Then I waited to see another nurse who told me some unpleasant news.
One of those follicles is actually a cyst. It wasn’t there when they had done the first scan and is probably something that sometimes appears when I get my period and then disappears. I mean, I’ve never had a scan done while on my period before so who knows… But if it’s producing hormones, which she is pretty sure it is, then it won’t be possible to do the treatment. I’ll have to wait for my next period. The doctor that she had consulted said that if mine produced under a certain level of hormones (150?) then we could still do it, so they sent me to a blood test and I’m now waiting for the results.
The nurse said she would call me in about 2 hours and let me know whether or not I can start injecting tonight. We made an appointment for the next scan which will be on Saturday, but this will only happen if I can start today. And because we don’t know yet, they made me pay for the tests (as if I am not doing the treatment) and wrote on my form ‘not starting’.
I feel awful. I didn’t know that this is something that could happen – it didn’t say this anywhere and no one had mentioned it before. I was so sure that I was going to start today, and realised after I left that there are many reasons now to be worried. I mean, I have been known to be quite a neurotic, so if ever there’s a reason to worry – trust me to find it. Here are my biggest worries right now: it’ll be impossible for me to do the treatment next month – I’m going to work full time and won’t be able to come for scans every two days. So that means postponing it even more, who knows when to. And the medication is only valid for a certain time. What if it expires? What if I have to pay for it again? And of course if they then find another cyst, it’ll get postponed even more. What if I have to start everything all over again, because it’ll be too long from the first scan and that will have expired? What if this cyst appears every month and I’ll never be able to do it?
So this is what’s going on in my mind right now. I don’t know what to do. I just feel terrible. This is not easy! Especially while I’m on my period, feeling emotional as it is. I’m now going to do some volunteering with older people, hopefully that’ll take my mind off waiting for the (bloody) blood test results.
15:12pm
Just finished my volunteering thing and still nothing. I’m not sure why they aren’t calling me… Maybe because I’m not starting today so it isn’t urgent? Should I call them? I wish I could just magically produce those eggs, like a chicken, and freeze them myself. Wouldn’t that be so much easier. Why does this have to be so difficult??? What am I going to do with the medication that takes up half my fridge? My poor flatmates are unable to store food because of this. This is so frustrating…
Here is a video showing excited me before the scan and worried me after:
Me and my eggs 